“I am guilty. Ashamed of what I’ve done, what I’ve become.”
I don’t know what it is about worship songs where you confess to your guilt, or admit to your sin, but I feel like I can connect with them. The reason is probably because I know exactly what the song is talking about. Being ashamed of my sins, doubting that God could still love me, it hits home. I feel like God provides his grace, and provides gifts, but I always neglect them are push them aside. And then I look back with regret, and say “God, how can it be, that you still love me?” Why does God remain faithful, when I can’t? I can’t offer God anything, I just screw up!
That’s why songs like these are so dear to me. God pleads my cause, he rights my wrongs, he breaks my chains, he overcomes. God, how can it be, that I keep forgetting and leaving you, yet when I come back in repentance, you accept me with open arms? It’s hard not to feel like God won’t forgive you this time, because you sinned too much. But the truth is, no sin is too bad for God to forgive. “From this death, I will rise with you.” God rights our wrongs, we don’t have to let sin hold us back anymore. So many times I feel like I’ve just messed up too badly, or God might treat me like the Israellites, and exile me to a foreign country. But the truth, the good news, tells me that Jesus has paid it all. I just need to stop being ashamed of what I’ve done. “You gave your life, to give me mine.”